I know there's no chance of me having the money to buy a house for another year or two (roll on graduation and the lovely little bursary for teacher training) but I'm having a look at what kind of properties I could afford (yes I know, house prices change every month, so what I see now may not be anything near what I could get in a couple of years - but in a couple of years I might b looking with someone, totally changing my budget altogether, this is just for an idea).
Why is it that there's all this noise about how hard it is for first time buyers to get on the housing ladder? I've found loads of properties within a nice budget range, that I could easily afford on my own if I had the deposit. Oh wait, I see the problem. Every single one of them is a retirement flat. So not only are some pensioners being pressurised to 'downsize' from their nice little bungalows or houses they've been in for years (my grandmother for example, detached 2bed bungalow, ensuite to master and a main bath as well, quiet street, lovely little house) in order to make the property available for young families, but single first time buyers are totally priced out of the market because all the nice new apartment complexes are built as retirement flats. That's frustrating. I can kind of understand it, but it's still blinking frustrating. What's really bugged me though, is every one of these retirement flats that has no onward chain (ie is vacant), is advertised as "CURRENTLY EMPTY - PRICED FOR QUICK SALE!!" as though this is a fantastic thing. All it means is that the person who was living there died, and their bereaved family are trying t settle all their affairs while grieving. What happy news! I don't want anything like that when my grandmother dies - as mentioned, she's not in a retirement flat, so it wouldn't be as obvious to total strangers that she'd dead so we're selling her house, but it's still horribly callous. The same goes for my parents. I'm the executor on their will, so it will be my responsibility to sort out all of their belongings, clear the house out, and start the proceedings to sell the house. I don't want to walk past the estate agent window and see their house with such a heartless and consumerist sentence in capital letters beneath it. If someone is buying a property they want the sale to go as quickly as possible (reduces the solicitors fees considerably), why is it necessary to emphasise this fact when the reason for selling is death?
Wednesday, 4 April 2012
Friday, 30 March 2012
Wedding
How do I tell you I won't go to your wedding? I think the guy you're marrying is one of the biggest twats I've ever met in my life. But you know this. I despise him and never want to set eyes on the dickhead again. But you know this. He was verbally abusive toward you and threw a chair at you, having already thrown a drink in your face. But you know this. Oh no, sorry, I forgot "He gets angry and loses his temper so he throws things toward me, but not at me" is how you prefer to phrase it.
A wedding is about celebrating someone's relationship. I can't celebrate your relationship with him.
The first time I met him he hit on me so hard I told him I was dating a friend just to get rid of him. He creeped me out, and it didn't matter how much Meg told me he's a lovely guy, he still creeped me out. The second time I met him, he kept separating me from my friends, and attempting the whole 'insult a girl until she wants you' thing (which never works on anyone with an ounce of self-respect). When you told me you had hooked up with one of Meg's friends, you remember my first reaction? "Oh dear god, tell me it's not X!" You didn't know. So after Facebook stalking him, you confirmed it was who I thought. At the time you said it was just sex, and agreed with my impressions of him. Eventually you realised (long after the rest of us) that you weren't fuck-buddies. You were in a relationship and just couldn't admit it. As soon as you did admit it, you moved him in. What the hell? Oh well, you were happy. You had that really goofy smile on your face every time you spoke of him. But that started fading quickly. January last year you said you thought he was going to dump you, but you didn't seem all that bothered. You talked about how much you guys had been arguing, and how much he took advantage of you (not contributing to rent or bills, eating twice as much food as you and your daughter combined, but never paying for any of it, and getting back into debt after you'd bailed him out). Instead he proposed. You seemed so happy, so I was pleased for you. When you asked me to be a bridesmaid, the answer was obviously going to be yes. You were one of my best friends, and you were so excited. To start with. Until he started putting on the pressure about booking venues and paying deposits (which of course you would be paying, considering he'd got into debt again), and he kept throwing things in your face every time you argued. He held your previous marriage over your head, as though it was something you'd done intentionally in order to betray him before you'd even met him. He was allowed to rave on about his ex girlfriend, and you would plan family days out with him, your daughter, and his son, but you funded them, you arranged them, you convinced him that spending time with his son was a good idea. If it was down to him, he'd continue as he had done for the previous 5 years - his son would be his for the weekend, so he would leave son with his parents, while he played football with his friends. Such a doting father.
Every time you argued he'd storm out, saying it was over and he was moving back in with his mum (seriously, what was with that? He couldn't afford to pay £300 a month to rent a room? Oh no, I forgot, all his money had to go on cigarettes, nights out, and petrol. Oh and laptops that he'd break in a rage.), and you'd beg him to reconsider. Literally beg him. Tell him you loved him and you would change. That goofy little smile you used to get when you thought of him disappeared. Instead you looked tense. You cried all the time. You developed so many stress related illnesses. And I couldn't tell you about the inappropriate messages he kept sending me, about how he wanted to see me pole dancing. When I said you were better than me, he kept insisting he would rather I showed him some moves. Such a loving and doting fiance you had.
Finally, you two argued, he yelled it was over, and you saw the light. "Ok". A week later you moved into your new place, and he was begging you to reconsider. You held strong. Then you met up with him. You admitted you loved him, you said you could try again. You changed your mind the next day and told him you couldn't keep doing it, it was over, and you weren't starting again.
So, like any well-balanced individual he started stalking you. You used to have to stay an extra hour or two at work in order to avoid him. He tried to force his way into your home, while your elderly mother and your 13yr old daughter were there, because he didn't believe that you were at work (even though you'd worked the same shift since before he'd met you). He followed you around the streets for almost an hour until you managed to sneak into your home through the back entrance and pretend no one was home. During this time he was constantly calling you, texting you, and sending messages on facebook. He was also constantly trying to call and text me, and his messages got nastier and more and more aggressive. I'd finish work at midnight, and see a torrent of texts from him. I was so stressed I couldn't sleep until 3 or 4 in the morning, and I'd have lectures at 9 or 10, so I was stressed and exhausted. Which you kept commenting on while I supported you through his campaign of harassment. Until you finally agreed to go to the police and take out a harassment order against him. At which point you realised just how bad he'd become.
So why did you contact him just after Christmas? I know, you said that you had to give him a package that had arrived for him, but that's bollocks. You knew where he lived (with his mum), you could easily have dropped it off at his house on ANY weekday, while all his family would have been at work. Instead you contact him and arrange to meet up, because dropping it off at his house means you run the risk of bumping into him and his family. Do you not see the contradiction there?
You lied to me for two months about him. You kept dropping in little comments about not going on facebook, and not wanting to know anything about him. I wasn't bringing him up, you just kept saying you didn't want to know about him, and you didn't want him back. You also started treating me like shit, telling me I have a fat belly, taking the piss out of my hair, and really trying to play on my insecurities, belittling me and putting me down. I couldn't figure out why you'd become such a bitch. Then J got in touch. And it all became clear. So when I asked if you'd seen Dick since you'd spoken to the police, why did you say no, only to backtrack as soon as I said "Oh, well he's put that he's engaged on Facebook". Why lie to me?
You said you were back together and starting over, and you asked what I thought. I checked you wanted honesty, and warned you might not like what I have to say, but you were adamant. So I told you "You're a fucking idiot". We discussed it, and I was the voice of negativity, which you kept saying you needed, and you kept saying you were taking things slowly with him, and he'd really changed. The argument you had with him over the phone when we were heading to Rammstein didn't suggest he's changed at all. It was the same argument you'd been having for six months. He was demanding to know why you didn't answer the phone the seven or eight times that he'd called (during our lecture by the way), and demanding to know who you were with and what you were hiding from him. Yeah, he's changed. He's even more demanding and paranoid than he was before. Perhaps because he realised you didn't need him. The constant texts during the concert were ridiculous though - seriously, he's a grown 'man' who has lived here his entire life, why does he need to ask you where he should order pizza from? Oh, right, he doesn't. He just wants to make sure you don't forget about him for a single second, and you don't have a good time at a concert without him.
Since the concert you and I have hung out once, and that was for my birthday. During that day you overrode almost everything I said, made us late for the train, (because apparently it takes an hour for someone else to agree to load your GC-MS samples for you), made horrifically judgmental and borderline racist comments loudly on the tube, and then decided that you'd start talking about poledancing on the tube, although the rest of us were blatantly not into the conversation (but the topic wasn't for our benefit was it, you were playing to the guy stood next to you - who, by the way, was not that pretty, was about 15yrs younger than you, and was gay and not into you, judging by the way he was checking out the guy sat next to me).
You've been a shit friend to me so far this year. You've put me down, stood me up, attempted to wreck my birthday plans, and then decided that the plans I'd put so much effort into for my birthday were brilliant, and you were going to do exactly the same. In addition to that you decided the plans I'd put the effort into for our moot court were actually really good (despite telling me how stupid they were) and you promptly copied them, despite me telling you I was really offended and annoyed by it. "Oh yeah, I know, but I don't care I'm doing it anyway" were your exact words.
So forgive me if I realised that our friendship was not built to last past Uni. I don't want to go to the Summer ball because I don't want to risk you bringing Dick. I am not inviting you on holiday because I don't want to spend a week with you trampling all our plans, and complaining about the Spanish (which, lets face it, is your usual routine - complain about the people who live in the area you are visiting)
The more time we spend together at the moment, the more I realise you are not the type of person I want to spend time with. I know this is horribly snobbish, but you're loud, crass, racist and horribly crude (by the way, we raised the idea of bowel movements as a topic of conversation at Claridges, and agreed it was not acceptable, so why did you start that conversation?). I know our friendship has an expiry date, and it's your behaviour toward me that has made me realise that.
So forgive me if I don't want to book a day off (and therefore use one of my very few holiday days) in order to spend the day faking a smile and feeling horribly uncomfortable. A wedding is a celebration, and this isn't one I can celebrate. I will not be a hypocrite and smile at a ceremony that I fundamentally disagree with. I think you are making a mistake marrying him, and you'll see that all over my face, which will, in turn, ruin your happiness. I will never speak to him again, I never want to be within earshot of him again. At a wedding it's a pretty difficult feat to entirely avoid the groom throughout the day. In all honesty, I don't want to waste one of my holiday days faking a smile at a ceremony I disagree with, for one person I despise, and another who I don't think is a very good friend. Your own sister isn't going to be there, surely that's a huge warning siren?
How do I tell you this? I don't want to have a massive argument with you over it, because I don't like arguments. I don't want to have to justify and explain myself, because you know what I think of him, and you know I never want to lay eyes on him again. Our friendship is fizzing out anyway, and I don't want it to end on a really bad, angry note, which is why I don't want an argument over it. Especially considering I'll probably end up saying that I don't think our friendship is good enough to justify me putting all of this aside for you.
All I can tell you is that "I need to think about it" You must be expecting my answer to be no. If you're not, then you must be a little deluded.
A wedding is about celebrating someone's relationship. I can't celebrate your relationship with him.
The first time I met him he hit on me so hard I told him I was dating a friend just to get rid of him. He creeped me out, and it didn't matter how much Meg told me he's a lovely guy, he still creeped me out. The second time I met him, he kept separating me from my friends, and attempting the whole 'insult a girl until she wants you' thing (which never works on anyone with an ounce of self-respect). When you told me you had hooked up with one of Meg's friends, you remember my first reaction? "Oh dear god, tell me it's not X!" You didn't know. So after Facebook stalking him, you confirmed it was who I thought. At the time you said it was just sex, and agreed with my impressions of him. Eventually you realised (long after the rest of us) that you weren't fuck-buddies. You were in a relationship and just couldn't admit it. As soon as you did admit it, you moved him in. What the hell? Oh well, you were happy. You had that really goofy smile on your face every time you spoke of him. But that started fading quickly. January last year you said you thought he was going to dump you, but you didn't seem all that bothered. You talked about how much you guys had been arguing, and how much he took advantage of you (not contributing to rent or bills, eating twice as much food as you and your daughter combined, but never paying for any of it, and getting back into debt after you'd bailed him out). Instead he proposed. You seemed so happy, so I was pleased for you. When you asked me to be a bridesmaid, the answer was obviously going to be yes. You were one of my best friends, and you were so excited. To start with. Until he started putting on the pressure about booking venues and paying deposits (which of course you would be paying, considering he'd got into debt again), and he kept throwing things in your face every time you argued. He held your previous marriage over your head, as though it was something you'd done intentionally in order to betray him before you'd even met him. He was allowed to rave on about his ex girlfriend, and you would plan family days out with him, your daughter, and his son, but you funded them, you arranged them, you convinced him that spending time with his son was a good idea. If it was down to him, he'd continue as he had done for the previous 5 years - his son would be his for the weekend, so he would leave son with his parents, while he played football with his friends. Such a doting father.
Every time you argued he'd storm out, saying it was over and he was moving back in with his mum (seriously, what was with that? He couldn't afford to pay £300 a month to rent a room? Oh no, I forgot, all his money had to go on cigarettes, nights out, and petrol. Oh and laptops that he'd break in a rage.), and you'd beg him to reconsider. Literally beg him. Tell him you loved him and you would change. That goofy little smile you used to get when you thought of him disappeared. Instead you looked tense. You cried all the time. You developed so many stress related illnesses. And I couldn't tell you about the inappropriate messages he kept sending me, about how he wanted to see me pole dancing. When I said you were better than me, he kept insisting he would rather I showed him some moves. Such a loving and doting fiance you had.
Finally, you two argued, he yelled it was over, and you saw the light. "Ok". A week later you moved into your new place, and he was begging you to reconsider. You held strong. Then you met up with him. You admitted you loved him, you said you could try again. You changed your mind the next day and told him you couldn't keep doing it, it was over, and you weren't starting again.
So, like any well-balanced individual he started stalking you. You used to have to stay an extra hour or two at work in order to avoid him. He tried to force his way into your home, while your elderly mother and your 13yr old daughter were there, because he didn't believe that you were at work (even though you'd worked the same shift since before he'd met you). He followed you around the streets for almost an hour until you managed to sneak into your home through the back entrance and pretend no one was home. During this time he was constantly calling you, texting you, and sending messages on facebook. He was also constantly trying to call and text me, and his messages got nastier and more and more aggressive. I'd finish work at midnight, and see a torrent of texts from him. I was so stressed I couldn't sleep until 3 or 4 in the morning, and I'd have lectures at 9 or 10, so I was stressed and exhausted. Which you kept commenting on while I supported you through his campaign of harassment. Until you finally agreed to go to the police and take out a harassment order against him. At which point you realised just how bad he'd become.
So why did you contact him just after Christmas? I know, you said that you had to give him a package that had arrived for him, but that's bollocks. You knew where he lived (with his mum), you could easily have dropped it off at his house on ANY weekday, while all his family would have been at work. Instead you contact him and arrange to meet up, because dropping it off at his house means you run the risk of bumping into him and his family. Do you not see the contradiction there?
You lied to me for two months about him. You kept dropping in little comments about not going on facebook, and not wanting to know anything about him. I wasn't bringing him up, you just kept saying you didn't want to know about him, and you didn't want him back. You also started treating me like shit, telling me I have a fat belly, taking the piss out of my hair, and really trying to play on my insecurities, belittling me and putting me down. I couldn't figure out why you'd become such a bitch. Then J got in touch. And it all became clear. So when I asked if you'd seen Dick since you'd spoken to the police, why did you say no, only to backtrack as soon as I said "Oh, well he's put that he's engaged on Facebook". Why lie to me?
You said you were back together and starting over, and you asked what I thought. I checked you wanted honesty, and warned you might not like what I have to say, but you were adamant. So I told you "You're a fucking idiot". We discussed it, and I was the voice of negativity, which you kept saying you needed, and you kept saying you were taking things slowly with him, and he'd really changed. The argument you had with him over the phone when we were heading to Rammstein didn't suggest he's changed at all. It was the same argument you'd been having for six months. He was demanding to know why you didn't answer the phone the seven or eight times that he'd called (during our lecture by the way), and demanding to know who you were with and what you were hiding from him. Yeah, he's changed. He's even more demanding and paranoid than he was before. Perhaps because he realised you didn't need him. The constant texts during the concert were ridiculous though - seriously, he's a grown 'man' who has lived here his entire life, why does he need to ask you where he should order pizza from? Oh, right, he doesn't. He just wants to make sure you don't forget about him for a single second, and you don't have a good time at a concert without him.
Since the concert you and I have hung out once, and that was for my birthday. During that day you overrode almost everything I said, made us late for the train, (because apparently it takes an hour for someone else to agree to load your GC-MS samples for you), made horrifically judgmental and borderline racist comments loudly on the tube, and then decided that you'd start talking about poledancing on the tube, although the rest of us were blatantly not into the conversation (but the topic wasn't for our benefit was it, you were playing to the guy stood next to you - who, by the way, was not that pretty, was about 15yrs younger than you, and was gay and not into you, judging by the way he was checking out the guy sat next to me).
You've been a shit friend to me so far this year. You've put me down, stood me up, attempted to wreck my birthday plans, and then decided that the plans I'd put so much effort into for my birthday were brilliant, and you were going to do exactly the same. In addition to that you decided the plans I'd put the effort into for our moot court were actually really good (despite telling me how stupid they were) and you promptly copied them, despite me telling you I was really offended and annoyed by it. "Oh yeah, I know, but I don't care I'm doing it anyway" were your exact words.
So forgive me if I realised that our friendship was not built to last past Uni. I don't want to go to the Summer ball because I don't want to risk you bringing Dick. I am not inviting you on holiday because I don't want to spend a week with you trampling all our plans, and complaining about the Spanish (which, lets face it, is your usual routine - complain about the people who live in the area you are visiting)
The more time we spend together at the moment, the more I realise you are not the type of person I want to spend time with. I know this is horribly snobbish, but you're loud, crass, racist and horribly crude (by the way, we raised the idea of bowel movements as a topic of conversation at Claridges, and agreed it was not acceptable, so why did you start that conversation?). I know our friendship has an expiry date, and it's your behaviour toward me that has made me realise that.
So forgive me if I don't want to book a day off (and therefore use one of my very few holiday days) in order to spend the day faking a smile and feeling horribly uncomfortable. A wedding is a celebration, and this isn't one I can celebrate. I will not be a hypocrite and smile at a ceremony that I fundamentally disagree with. I think you are making a mistake marrying him, and you'll see that all over my face, which will, in turn, ruin your happiness. I will never speak to him again, I never want to be within earshot of him again. At a wedding it's a pretty difficult feat to entirely avoid the groom throughout the day. In all honesty, I don't want to waste one of my holiday days faking a smile at a ceremony I disagree with, for one person I despise, and another who I don't think is a very good friend. Your own sister isn't going to be there, surely that's a huge warning siren?
How do I tell you this? I don't want to have a massive argument with you over it, because I don't like arguments. I don't want to have to justify and explain myself, because you know what I think of him, and you know I never want to lay eyes on him again. Our friendship is fizzing out anyway, and I don't want it to end on a really bad, angry note, which is why I don't want an argument over it. Especially considering I'll probably end up saying that I don't think our friendship is good enough to justify me putting all of this aside for you.
All I can tell you is that "I need to think about it" You must be expecting my answer to be no. If you're not, then you must be a little deluded.
Friday, 25 November 2011
You again.
The sweaty creepy little You who makes my skin crawl. You make me physically sick. I can hear you in the kitchen again, snorting and rustling. Don't speak to me. You repulse me. It's also becoming apparent that you want to expose yourself to myself and Other Female Housemate. I appreciate that you were drunk the first time it happened, but that's not an excuse. I've been drunk countless times myself, and yet I've never wandered naked through the house. You came in, wandered into the living room and saw OFH sat there and then retreated to your room. Where you turned your recording of YOURSELF playing the guitar and your awful tuneless, toneless singing, stripped and carried washing into the laundry room. Why? To top it off, why the hell would you then stand in the doorway staring at her You disgusting little freak.
The other day you knew she was home. You knew I was home. You then chose to have a shower and not lock the door. How do I know? Because I opened the bathroom door, intending to wash my hands, and was greeted with the sight of your bum. You know I saw, you heard the door slam as I wheeled away, wanting to vomit. So why did you not immediately lock the door? No, instead you had your entire shower without locking the door, dressed and then came into the living room to smirk at myself and OFH. Why would we want you to save us seats at a quiz that I have attended ONCE in the last 6 months, and that OFH hasn't attended for 3 months? The smirk on your face showed us both that you just wanted to prove that you wouldn't apologise for not locking the door.
I appreciate that sometimes these things happen, people forget to lock doors. However if it is an accident, they will lock the door immediately, they will not shower without bothering to lock it. I swear if you do it again, you and I will have a massive falling out.
Why is it every time I start to try and make an effort with you, you go and do something disgusting? Like your inappropriate comments to my friend (who was a year older than the kids you teach), like the comments you made to my friend's THIRTEEN year old daughter and her friends that made them all so uncomfortable that Sherbert Lemon will not bring her daughter's friends here again, and she will destroy you if you go anywhere near her daughter. You're a teacher for crying out loud! You NEED to make sure that you never open yourself up to accusations of inappropriate behaviour towards children. You are a disgusting little freak.
The other day you knew she was home. You knew I was home. You then chose to have a shower and not lock the door. How do I know? Because I opened the bathroom door, intending to wash my hands, and was greeted with the sight of your bum. You know I saw, you heard the door slam as I wheeled away, wanting to vomit. So why did you not immediately lock the door? No, instead you had your entire shower without locking the door, dressed and then came into the living room to smirk at myself and OFH. Why would we want you to save us seats at a quiz that I have attended ONCE in the last 6 months, and that OFH hasn't attended for 3 months? The smirk on your face showed us both that you just wanted to prove that you wouldn't apologise for not locking the door.
I appreciate that sometimes these things happen, people forget to lock doors. However if it is an accident, they will lock the door immediately, they will not shower without bothering to lock it. I swear if you do it again, you and I will have a massive falling out.
Why is it every time I start to try and make an effort with you, you go and do something disgusting? Like your inappropriate comments to my friend (who was a year older than the kids you teach), like the comments you made to my friend's THIRTEEN year old daughter and her friends that made them all so uncomfortable that Sherbert Lemon will not bring her daughter's friends here again, and she will destroy you if you go anywhere near her daughter. You're a teacher for crying out loud! You NEED to make sure that you never open yourself up to accusations of inappropriate behaviour towards children. You are a disgusting little freak.
Monday, 10 October 2011
You
Not the same 'you' that the last entry was aimed at - please, I wouldn't want you to over excite your sweaty, freaky, creepy little self. This is aimed at You. Him. That Guy, the one I have poured my heaart out to on so many occasions.
You're not fair on me. You know how I feel, you've known for a long time, and I'm doing my best to get over it, and move on, but you're not playing fair. It's not fair that when you go out and get drunk, you call and text me at 3am, and when you don't get through to me, you then decide to try to contact your girlfriend. I assume you try to contact her in any case, I do know that you leave "I love you" or "I miss you" all over her wall 5 or 10 minutes after trying to contact me. If you don't try and call her, why not? Why don't you try her first? Why do you always try to call me? Is it guilt over that which means you leave messages on her wall?
You're not being fair when you bring our conversations around to refer to us having sex. You cheated on her with me. I know this, you know this, even she probably knows this. But ultimately you chose to stay with her. That in itself hurt me enough, but I could understand it, and accept it. I never wanted what happened between us to get in the way of our friendship. You don't seem to have the same concerns, you constantly bring up us having sex, you 'joke' about threesomes with me and her, and you tell me you're bored with her/fed up with her.she's a bitch. You can't have it both ways. Don't mess with me like that, it's not fair. I want to be friends with you, I trust you, and I feel so comfortable around you. If you let me, I will get over it, and I will move on. I just need you to stop flirting with me, and stop telling me you "wish you were single" You're not being fair to me, or to her.
She doesn't like me, and I can totally understand that. When everyone is telling her that something is going on between us, and you tell her that you cheated on her at the beginning of your relationship with her, of course she's going to realise it was with me. She's beginning to mellow toward me, because you and I continue to be as close as we've always been without you telling her you've cheated again, and with everyone else finally dropping the gossiping.
I am crazy about you. I don't know why, nor do my best friends. There's something between us that you can't deny either. That mythical spark. I refuse to act on it again though, because I want to stay friends with you, and because I don't want to hurt your girlfriend. She seems really sweet. I can't understand why you're together though, you're both as bad as each other. She was flirting with someone right under your nose, on your birthday! So much so that you felt threatened enough to have to 'stamp your claim', and once you had, she carried on twice as badly as before. You do exactly the same to her though. Why? Why aren't the two of you happy enough together to not feel the need to wind each other up like this? Why do you always use me in these stupid little games as well? Like when we were celebrating you getting onto the course. You sat with her on your lap, and commented on what was going to happen when I come and visit you, or when your housemate's girlfriend comes to visit. Nothing about her. It was then that everyone else there started to separate you and I. Your old housemate sat between us on a 2 seater sofa (I was so uncomfortable I moved, and you had been the one to chose to sit next to me), your friend interrupted every time you and I started laughing together, your new housemate and his girlfriend kept starting conversations with me, to make sure I didn't talk to you at all. Why did youu have to make that comment? Everything was fine until you did, and once you did everyone leaped into "save the gf" mode.
Just stop it. Give me time, and as soon as I'm over it, our friendship can be stronger than before. You can wind me up all you like, and we can exchange innuendos as much as we like. I just need a bit of breathing space for a while. So stop it. Respect me enough to let me get over it. Respect our friendship enough. I know you probably think I've had enough time, but I haven't, so please, just give me a break.
You're not fair on me. You know how I feel, you've known for a long time, and I'm doing my best to get over it, and move on, but you're not playing fair. It's not fair that when you go out and get drunk, you call and text me at 3am, and when you don't get through to me, you then decide to try to contact your girlfriend. I assume you try to contact her in any case, I do know that you leave "I love you" or "I miss you" all over her wall 5 or 10 minutes after trying to contact me. If you don't try and call her, why not? Why don't you try her first? Why do you always try to call me? Is it guilt over that which means you leave messages on her wall?
You're not being fair when you bring our conversations around to refer to us having sex. You cheated on her with me. I know this, you know this, even she probably knows this. But ultimately you chose to stay with her. That in itself hurt me enough, but I could understand it, and accept it. I never wanted what happened between us to get in the way of our friendship. You don't seem to have the same concerns, you constantly bring up us having sex, you 'joke' about threesomes with me and her, and you tell me you're bored with her/fed up with her.she's a bitch. You can't have it both ways. Don't mess with me like that, it's not fair. I want to be friends with you, I trust you, and I feel so comfortable around you. If you let me, I will get over it, and I will move on. I just need you to stop flirting with me, and stop telling me you "wish you were single" You're not being fair to me, or to her.
She doesn't like me, and I can totally understand that. When everyone is telling her that something is going on between us, and you tell her that you cheated on her at the beginning of your relationship with her, of course she's going to realise it was with me. She's beginning to mellow toward me, because you and I continue to be as close as we've always been without you telling her you've cheated again, and with everyone else finally dropping the gossiping.
I am crazy about you. I don't know why, nor do my best friends. There's something between us that you can't deny either. That mythical spark. I refuse to act on it again though, because I want to stay friends with you, and because I don't want to hurt your girlfriend. She seems really sweet. I can't understand why you're together though, you're both as bad as each other. She was flirting with someone right under your nose, on your birthday! So much so that you felt threatened enough to have to 'stamp your claim', and once you had, she carried on twice as badly as before. You do exactly the same to her though. Why? Why aren't the two of you happy enough together to not feel the need to wind each other up like this? Why do you always use me in these stupid little games as well? Like when we were celebrating you getting onto the course. You sat with her on your lap, and commented on what was going to happen when I come and visit you, or when your housemate's girlfriend comes to visit. Nothing about her. It was then that everyone else there started to separate you and I. Your old housemate sat between us on a 2 seater sofa (I was so uncomfortable I moved, and you had been the one to chose to sit next to me), your friend interrupted every time you and I started laughing together, your new housemate and his girlfriend kept starting conversations with me, to make sure I didn't talk to you at all. Why did youu have to make that comment? Everything was fine until you did, and once you did everyone leaped into "save the gf" mode.
Just stop it. Give me time, and as soon as I'm over it, our friendship can be stronger than before. You can wind me up all you like, and we can exchange innuendos as much as we like. I just need a bit of breathing space for a while. So stop it. Respect me enough to let me get over it. Respect our friendship enough. I know you probably think I've had enough time, but I haven't, so please, just give me a break.
Thursday, 1 September 2011
Get out of the kitchen
For the love of all that is good in the world, just GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE KITCHEN!! You make my skin crawl and I think you must realise that I can't stand you, so just get out of the kitchen. You've been in there for almost an hour, microwaving food, sitting and eating, washing up, standing there in silence like the creepy little freak that you are, and now you decide to make a cup of tea. Just FUCK OFF. And I swear, if you start playing that bloody guitar at top volume again I will flip out. You can pretend all you like, that you don't realise how loud it is, but having asked you several times to keep the volume down on your amp I've given up. Now, when you wake me up with your awful talentless strumming, I will just turn my radio up to full volume and bury my head under the pillows to avoid aural bleeding. Likewise, when you started earlier today you heard me slam the living room door, I know you did, because your 'playing' faltered.
In fact, don't get out of the kitchen, get out of the house. None of us really like you. You creep me and her out with your sneaking and eavesdropping, and sitting in the dark pretending you're not home while you look through the windows and doors at us. He doesn't much like you either, but won't say it in as many words because he doesn't like to admit he made a bad choice with letting you move in. The look on his face when you sit practically in his lap to share your computer programming marvels (which, I'm sorry to say, are about as good as your guitar playing ie shit), or when you creep into the room and stand silently behind him. Do you not realise just how creepy that is? You stand outside the bathroom door while I'm in the bath. That's not normal. You creep silently into a dark kitchen and stand in silence in there, listening in on a conversation me and her are having - seriously, is your life that empty? Just fuck off. I don't like you.
In fact, don't get out of the kitchen, get out of the house. None of us really like you. You creep me and her out with your sneaking and eavesdropping, and sitting in the dark pretending you're not home while you look through the windows and doors at us. He doesn't much like you either, but won't say it in as many words because he doesn't like to admit he made a bad choice with letting you move in. The look on his face when you sit practically in his lap to share your computer programming marvels (which, I'm sorry to say, are about as good as your guitar playing ie shit), or when you creep into the room and stand silently behind him. Do you not realise just how creepy that is? You stand outside the bathroom door while I'm in the bath. That's not normal. You creep silently into a dark kitchen and stand in silence in there, listening in on a conversation me and her are having - seriously, is your life that empty? Just fuck off. I don't like you.
Sunday, 28 August 2011
Brain implosion
I'm so fucking tired of dickhead customers. Use some common sense you fucking morons! Instead of walking into a store and bitching "Look, they don't even bother to tidy up" have a think about who it is that causes the mess. How I wish I could stand next to you and reply "I know, it's disgusting. We work so hard to try and keep everything neat but so many customers just throw things on the floor. And then demand discount because it's got a mark."
Discount rats piss me off no end. "There's a bit of foundation on this top." Yes, and it matches that mark on your face where yours has rubbed off. "I want a discount." 'Well I can take 10% off, but there will be no return allowed on the item' "no, I'll pay half price". Fuck off. I will not bargain with you, I don't care that much about the sale (by the way it's £1.50! If you're so hard up you can't pay £1.50 for a bloody top then there's no hope for you). Also, I can see when you're pulling buttons off and putting them in your pocket. You do realise that all I'll do is get your size out of the stockroom and take the damaged one away? Oh, and don't bother trying to insist that "It's on a reduced rail upstairs, there's loads of them". No, it's not. That item is from a department on this floor, I KNOW this floor, and that is new stock in. Take a running jump.
Finally, I swear if you don't keep an eye on your fucking demon spawn, except to smile indulgently at the little shits while they destroy our store, I will 'accidentally' kick them and you. I might even kick you twice. Just for the hell of it.
Just fuck off until you learn 1) parental control, 2) basic manners and 3) that you are not the centre of my fucking universe.
Discount rats piss me off no end. "There's a bit of foundation on this top." Yes, and it matches that mark on your face where yours has rubbed off. "I want a discount." 'Well I can take 10% off, but there will be no return allowed on the item' "no, I'll pay half price". Fuck off. I will not bargain with you, I don't care that much about the sale (by the way it's £1.50! If you're so hard up you can't pay £1.50 for a bloody top then there's no hope for you). Also, I can see when you're pulling buttons off and putting them in your pocket. You do realise that all I'll do is get your size out of the stockroom and take the damaged one away? Oh, and don't bother trying to insist that "It's on a reduced rail upstairs, there's loads of them". No, it's not. That item is from a department on this floor, I KNOW this floor, and that is new stock in. Take a running jump.
Finally, I swear if you don't keep an eye on your fucking demon spawn, except to smile indulgently at the little shits while they destroy our store, I will 'accidentally' kick them and you. I might even kick you twice. Just for the hell of it.
Just fuck off until you learn 1) parental control, 2) basic manners and 3) that you are not the centre of my fucking universe.
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