You

Not the same 'you' that the last entry was aimed at - please, I wouldn't want you to over excite your sweaty, freaky, creepy little self. This is aimed at You. Him. That Guy, the one I have poured my heaart out to on so many occasions.
You're not fair on me. You know how I feel, you've known for a long time, and I'm doing my best to get over it, and move on, but you're not playing fair. It's not fair that when you go out and get drunk, you call and text me at 3am, and when you don't get through to me, you then decide to try to contact your girlfriend. I assume you try to contact her in any case, I do know that you leave "I love you" or "I miss you" all over her wall 5 or 10 minutes after trying to contact me. If you don't try and call her, why not? Why don't you try her first? Why do you always try to call me? Is it guilt over that which means you leave messages on her wall?
You're not being fair when you bring our conversations around to refer to us having sex. You cheated on her with me. I know this, you know this, even she probably knows this. But ultimately you chose to stay with her. That in itself hurt me enough, but I could understand it, and accept it. I never wanted what happened between us to get in the way of our friendship. You don't seem to have the same concerns, you constantly bring up us having sex, you 'joke' about threesomes with me and her, and you tell me you're bored with her/fed up with her.she's a bitch. You can't have it both ways. Don't mess with me like that, it's not fair. I want to be friends with you, I trust you, and I feel so comfortable around you. If you let me, I will get over it, and I will move on. I just need you to stop flirting with me, and stop telling me you "wish you were single" You're not being fair to me, or to her.
She doesn't like me, and I can totally understand that. When everyone is telling her that something is going on between us, and you tell her that you cheated on her at the beginning of your relationship with her, of course she's going to realise it was with me. She's  beginning to mellow toward me, because you and I continue to be as close as we've always been without you telling her you've cheated again, and with everyone else finally dropping the gossiping.
I am crazy about you. I don't know why, nor do my best friends. There's something between us that you can't deny either. That mythical spark. I refuse to act on it again though, because I want to stay friends with you, and because I don't want to hurt your girlfriend. She seems really sweet. I can't understand why you're together though, you're both as bad as each other. She was flirting with someone right under your nose, on your birthday! So much so that you felt threatened enough to have to 'stamp your claim', and once you had, she carried on twice as badly as before. You do exactly the same to her though. Why? Why aren't the two of you happy enough together to not feel the need to wind each other up like this? Why do you always use me in these stupid little games as well? Like when we were celebrating you getting onto the course. You sat with her on your lap, and commented on what was going to happen when I come and visit you, or when your housemate's girlfriend comes to visit. Nothing about her. It was then that everyone else there started to separate you and I. Your old housemate sat between us on a 2 seater sofa (I was so uncomfortable I moved, and you had been the one to chose to sit next to me), your friend interrupted every time you and I started laughing together, your new housemate and his girlfriend kept starting conversations with me, to make sure I didn't talk to you at all. Why did youu have to make that comment? Everything was fine until you did, and once you did everyone leaped into "save the gf" mode.

Just stop it. Give me time, and as soon as I'm over it, our friendship can be stronger than before. You can wind me up all you like, and we can exchange innuendos as much as we like. I just need a bit of breathing space for a while. So stop it. Respect me enough to let me get over it. Respect our friendship enough. I know you probably think I've had enough time, but I haven't, so please, just give me a break.

Get out of the kitchen

For the love of all that is good in the world, just  GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE KITCHEN!! You make my skin  crawl and I think you must realise that I can't stand you, so just get out of the kitchen. You've been in there for almost an hour, microwaving food, sitting and eating, washing up, standing there in silence like the creepy little freak that you are, and now you decide to make a cup of tea. Just FUCK OFF. And I swear, if you start playing that bloody guitar at top volume again I will flip out. You can pretend all you like, that you don't realise how loud it is, but having asked you several times to keep the volume down on your amp I've given up. Now, when you wake me up with your awful talentless strumming, I will just turn my radio up to full volume and bury my head under the pillows to avoid aural bleeding. Likewise, when you started earlier today you heard me slam the living room door, I know you did, because your 'playing' faltered.


In fact, don't get out of the kitchen, get out of the house. None of us really like you. You creep me and her out with your sneaking and eavesdropping, and sitting in the dark pretending you're not home while you look through the windows and doors at us. He doesn't much like you either, but won't say it in as many words because he doesn't like to admit he made a bad choice with letting you move in. The look on his face when you sit practically in his lap to share your computer programming marvels (which, I'm sorry to say, are about as good as your guitar playing ie shit), or when you creep into the room and stand silently behind him. Do you not realise just how creepy that is? You stand outside the bathroom door while I'm in the bath. That's not normal. You creep silently into a dark kitchen and stand in silence in there, listening in on a conversation me and her are having - seriously, is your life that empty? Just fuck off. I don't like you.

Brain implosion

I'm so fucking tired of dickhead customers. Use some common sense you fucking morons! Instead of walking into a store and bitching "Look, they don't even bother to tidy up" have a think about who it is that causes the mess. How I wish I could stand next to you and reply "I know, it's disgusting. We work so hard to try and keep everything neat but so many customers just throw things on the floor. And then demand discount because it's got a mark."

Discount rats piss me off no end. "There's a bit of foundation on this top." Yes, and it matches that mark on your face where yours has rubbed off. "I want a discount." 'Well I can take 10% off, but there will be no return allowed on the item' "no, I'll pay half price". Fuck off. I will not bargain with you, I don't care that much about the sale (by the way it's £1.50! If you're so hard up you can't pay £1.50 for a bloody top then there's no hope for you). Also, I can see when you're pulling buttons off and putting them in your pocket. You do realise that all I'll do is get your size out of the stockroom and take the damaged one away? Oh, and don't bother trying to insist that "It's on a reduced rail upstairs, there's loads of them". No, it's not. That item is from a department on this floor, I KNOW this floor, and that is new stock in. Take a running jump.

Finally, I swear if you don't keep an eye on your fucking demon spawn, except to smile indulgently at the little shits while they destroy our store, I will 'accidentally' kick them and you. I might even kick you twice. Just for the hell of it.

Just fuck off until you learn 1) parental control, 2) basic manners and 3) that you are not the centre of my fucking universe.