Not the same 'you' that the last entry was aimed at - please, I wouldn't want you to over excite your sweaty, freaky, creepy little self. This is aimed at You. Him. That Guy, the one I have poured my heaart out to on so many occasions.
You're not fair on me. You know how I feel, you've known for a long time, and I'm doing my best to get over it, and move on, but you're not playing fair. It's not fair that when you go out and get drunk, you call and text me at 3am, and when you don't get through to me, you then decide to try to contact your girlfriend. I assume you try to contact her in any case, I do know that you leave "I love you" or "I miss you" all over her wall 5 or 10 minutes after trying to contact me. If you don't try and call her, why not? Why don't you try her first? Why do you always try to call me? Is it guilt over that which means you leave messages on her wall?
You're not being fair when you bring our conversations around to refer to us having sex. You cheated on her with me. I know this, you know this, even she probably knows this. But ultimately you chose to stay with her. That in itself hurt me enough, but I could understand it, and accept it. I never wanted what happened between us to get in the way of our friendship. You don't seem to have the same concerns, you constantly bring up us having sex, you 'joke' about threesomes with me and her, and you tell me you're bored with her/fed up with her.she's a bitch. You can't have it both ways. Don't mess with me like that, it's not fair. I want to be friends with you, I trust you, and I feel so comfortable around you. If you let me, I will get over it, and I will move on. I just need you to stop flirting with me, and stop telling me you "wish you were single" You're not being fair to me, or to her.
She doesn't like me, and I can totally understand that. When everyone is telling her that something is going on between us, and you tell her that you cheated on her at the beginning of your relationship with her, of course she's going to realise it was with me. She's beginning to mellow toward me, because you and I continue to be as close as we've always been without you telling her you've cheated again, and with everyone else finally dropping the gossiping.
I am crazy about you. I don't know why, nor do my best friends. There's something between us that you can't deny either. That mythical spark. I refuse to act on it again though, because I want to stay friends with you, and because I don't want to hurt your girlfriend. She seems really sweet. I can't understand why you're together though, you're both as bad as each other. She was flirting with someone right under your nose, on your birthday! So much so that you felt threatened enough to have to 'stamp your claim', and once you had, she carried on twice as badly as before. You do exactly the same to her though. Why? Why aren't the two of you happy enough together to not feel the need to wind each other up like this? Why do you always use me in these stupid little games as well? Like when we were celebrating you getting onto the course. You sat with her on your lap, and commented on what was going to happen when I come and visit you, or when your housemate's girlfriend comes to visit. Nothing about her. It was then that everyone else there started to separate you and I. Your old housemate sat between us on a 2 seater sofa (I was so uncomfortable I moved, and you had been the one to chose to sit next to me), your friend interrupted every time you and I started laughing together, your new housemate and his girlfriend kept starting conversations with me, to make sure I didn't talk to you at all. Why did youu have to make that comment? Everything was fine until you did, and once you did everyone leaped into "save the gf" mode.
Just stop it. Give me time, and as soon as I'm over it, our friendship can be stronger than before. You can wind me up all you like, and we can exchange innuendos as much as we like. I just need a bit of breathing space for a while. So stop it. Respect me enough to let me get over it. Respect our friendship enough. I know you probably think I've had enough time, but I haven't, so please, just give me a break.
